Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
