In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
