do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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