You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am available for nakedness
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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