That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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