if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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