we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize