I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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