you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
