Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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