His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
