Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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