Porn is love you can see.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
