Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
a search helicopter?!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
