Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize