I heard we made out
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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