yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
