in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
