you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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