okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He kissed a someone with a penis
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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