Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
