He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
