Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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