I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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