Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
