how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
