She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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