It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
