And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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