I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
