Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
