Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
