Having a random hookup so left but love u
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
