are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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