girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
