im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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