...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
