if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
