Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
