I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
