My friends, they love my intelligence
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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