I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
