Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
