Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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