Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
