He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There r osticjed everywhere
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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