he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
