He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
