we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize