I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
