Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Panties = found
Randomize
