The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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