We won't sleep together?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
