I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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