Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
