just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
