So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
